So, someone told you about AdultFriendFinder, or you saw an ad somewhere. There’s a free website where you can hook up for NSA sex!? Well sign me up! And you do. Then . . .

What happens next is up to you. First things first. If you’re a straight guy looking to meet women, for all intents and purposes, you HAVE to be a paying member on AdultFriendFinder. Is it unfair? Not if want to be successful. To be able to send messages, you need to be a paying member. This may be obvious to most, but I’ll say it anyway. Women very rarely initiate contact. It’s just the way things are.

Then, what you should really do next is just look around for a while. See how other people are acting. If you start spamming every woman within 100 miles with a copy/paste message of “U R hawt, lets fuck” & you include a blurry, dark picture of your half-hard junk, you’re going to crash & burn. Hard.

Another tip is PLEASE, don’t use a close-up of your dick for your main profile photo. This is like the most frequent Internet Dating Site mistake guys make. And they make it CONSTANTLY. It’s as consistent as the damned tide! The reasons to not do this are too numerous to go through, just DON’T DO IT, trust me on this.

And here is something most new guys NEVER do. You should read the profiles of other straight guys, especially if you’re straight & looking for women. I know it sounds weird, but until you know what other guys who have been here for a while are doing to be successful, you’re going to be a fish out of water. Yes, some of the guys you view will think to themselves “Hey, who’s this dude viewing my profile, I’m not gay!” You know what, he’ll get over it.

And finally, learn to graciously accept the fact that most of the messages you send will be ignored. Completely. Utterly. No response. Why you ask? What’s wrong with all the women on this site? Are they all prudes? No. They get absolutely DELUGED with messages constantly. And chat requests. And friend invites. And they’re hot listed, and on and on and ON. Women ignore the bulk of their messages because they HAVE TO. It’d be a full time job to politely say “I’m not interested” to every classless douche who sends them a very charming “show me ur titz” message.

So, there it is. Sage advice from a grizzled interwebs veteran. The saddest thing about what I just wrote is the guys who need to see it most never will. They’re to busy spamming every woman on here with blurry pics of their cocks.